Friday, January 23, 2009

Going Away

On July 3, 2004, M went back to Montreal. I begged him not to go. I told him that I didn't think things would be okay with us if he left. He was very cryptic about not wanting to leave, but he had to, that was where he belonged. He was a citizen there and his time here was up. He kept saying he wished he had "known me longer." He never mentioned marriage, but I could tell that was what he was talking about. He kept telling me that things would be different if we'd known each other longer.

We had met only eight months prior and had only been dating for six months. M wanted a ride to the airport, and I wanted to take him. He stayed at my house for the last three days and my mom went with me to drive him the two hours to the airport. My mom fell in love with M that day too. She watched me trying not to cry and M wiping away all my tears as they fell. He would watch me and keep talking and kept wiping away my tears. He pretended I wasn't crying.

When we got to the airport, my mom took care of the car and M and I went inside together so that I could say goodbye. M took me into the giftshop and bought me a Beanie Babie. It was the softest puppy, made after the character "Odie" from the Garfield movie. It looked nothing like Odie, but it made me feel so much better. It was tiny and soft, and I knew I was going to need something on the way back home. I knew I would be crying and I knew he was not coming back for a long time. I thought I knew this, but I really had no idea how long.

I had never been outside the country before, and had no idea what Canada was. I felt like I was losing my best friend.

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