Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Research

By the time that M and I began dating, I figured out that he was from Pakistan, which was strange to me. I had never actually "met" anyone from Pakistan. My father studied Hindi the entire time I was growing up and for that reason I knew several words of Hindi, and knew a small bit about Hinduism and India as a whole. I knew nothing about the Muslim faith, but because M was from Pakistan, I assumed he must be Muslim.

Because of his shyness and early inability to call me on the phone or drag himself out of the house to meet me coupled with the fact that he had once mentioned that he did not eat pork, I assumed that he was a practicing Muslim.

I began researching everything I could about Islam. I focused on all of the things Americans fear first. My most horrible fear was regarding Polygamy. My father, a devout Christian, always loved talking, researching, and even toyed with the idea of practicing Polygamy. My father's obsession with polygamy was to me like walking into your house one day and finding your father standing in the living room with a rifle aimed at your head ready to shoot you. I, in fact, found out about it while visiting my parents for Christmas break my first year in college.

Something inside me has always feared and thus hated--I know this is a strong word, I'm just being succinct here--Polygamy. I am not specifically a selfish person, but there is no way that I could share a husband. It is completely too personal. There is too much dependence and trust there. I grew up with the idea that my husband would be a "full time" husband, and there is no way I could live with anything else. It is my plan to give 100% and I expect the same in return.

Anyway, I digress, I researched everything I could find. The first thing I wanted to know is if a Muslim man is even allowed to marry a Christian woman. There are lots of different schools of thought on this, but the short of it is that the Koran specifically permits it. Most scholars today do not like it, but it is in the Koran either way.

Does it seem funny that I thought of marriage right away?